How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize