I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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