Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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