Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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