Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
