For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You did what with his pubic hair?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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