Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
