U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
