she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
