Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
