Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
