Rock
Scissors
Fuck
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Welp...herpes.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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