WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize