i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
