so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Randomize
