I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
