Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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