I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
