Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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