That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
