Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
