mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
