well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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