his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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