Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
