You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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