She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
