He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
