I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
