i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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