He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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