If i come over, it means nothing
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
