Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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