So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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