I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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