Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
