she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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