Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
