i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
