community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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