he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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