i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
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She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
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It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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