she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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