Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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