Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize