i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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