he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I think a kid would responsible me up
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I need to align my fucking chakras
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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