You're completely useless in the revolution.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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