you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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