it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
