I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
