She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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