you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
