He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize