If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
