nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
