A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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