everyone is single if you try hard enough
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
