So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
