do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
