I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
