She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
