You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
