do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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