i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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